A how to guide to some tender loving care

Okay, to love yourself is not selfish nor conceited. Lately social media has been infested with a negative stigma towards self-love, people that are confident are seen as cocky and far from humble.  A makeup artist from London, Jennifer Olaleye, was attacked on Instragam for her dark skin because it appeared that she was confident in her skin.

self love, melanin
figure 1 Jennifer Olaleye IG

Yet being confident simply means you know yourself worth. And that comes from accepting yourself, i.e. loving yourself.  Which in fact is one of the best things you could do for yourself. Believe it or not it is linked to a healthier diet, a fresh outlook in life, and that glow. Yes, that summer glow for all seasons. Basically, it’s like you are head over heels in love…with you.

black and white photography, beauty, low key lighting
figure 2 A portrait of Crizelle Castillo

A phenomenal lady that I have seen grow both emotionally and physically, Crizelle Castillo states to love yourself is to ‘accept you for who you are.’  And as sappy as it is, it’s true, but it’s not easy.


For an instance, I’m petite but I am blessed with watermelons for bosoms. This used to affect my self-esteem a lot during my teens years, as I was surrounded by women who were like coca cola bottles, big breasts, slender waist, thick thighs, and a big tush. And there I was tiny as ever looking like a fanta bottle.  It sucked. And every time someone pointed out that I was too small, I needed to eat, I was bony it hurt. But here’s the thing, it wasn’t the comments that murdered my self-esteem, it was me. Comparing yourself to other women or men, or both, is what holds you back from loving yourself. We are not perfect. No one is. 

So ‘don’t be hard on yourself.’  – Crizelle Castillo

You can’t expect to look like someone else, it is unrealistic. Here’s the funny thing, society’s expectation of beauty is forever changing, but what’s permanent is coming to terms with who you are, and learning to love yourself. Below is Buzzfeed’s video on the ideal body for women throughout history, check it out. 

What would happen if you were to keep up with what society dictates is beautiful? You would constantly be changing physically, instead of bettering yourself emotionally to naturally enhancing your outward beauty.

When asked what she used to be insecure about, Crizelle responded with, ‘My eyebrows. I started plucking them in year 7, I wanted them thin and not bushy. Wait wasn’t thin eyebrows trending in 2007?’

And it turns out she was right, the 2000s was the decade for no brows, the thinner the better. In fact, it sometimes meant shaving or waxing off the original brow to then draw over the empty space with eyeliner.  But what’s trending now? Thicker natural looking brows?

It’s quite tempting to follow beauty trends or just trends in general, but they should never compromise your self-esteem or self-worth. That’s when things become dangerous, how many women have died or have become disfigured because of plastic surgery? I mean just recently a mother of two died after getting butt implants.

Here’s some advice from a woman who took a leap of faith and started her journey to self-love too.

Crizelle 3.0
figure 4 A portrait of Crizelle Castillo

‘It takes time, patience for changes and habits to fall. Genetically you can never be what you see on Instagram or social media. It’s about knowing your body.’ – Crizelle Castillo

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